The Alan Partridge Playmates kicked off the show in spectacular style, all wearing Alan Partridge masks. Alan issued a stern warning for criminals who use the Alan Partridge masks to rob banks; Alan's plastic face was designed only as a leisure accessory. Not for robbing banks.

Scott and Dean McLean
Alan welcomed onto the show Scott and Dean McLean two very young Hollywood bigshots, 9 and 11 respectively. The two were making a movie about techno-paranoia. They jokingly offered Alan a part. Alan, afterall, was used to acting since doing a TV ad for Ford's of Norwich.

Bridie McMahon and Wanda Harvey
Alan's next quests were two lesbians. Alan's question was 'Do these slang names hurt' Then he began to reel off a list of names - Lesbos, Les-be-friends, Dykes, Bulldykes, Dick Van Dykes, Spare-Rib-Ticklers, Cat-Flaps, Pussy Footers, Knicker Pickers, Men, Backpackers, Tent-peggers, Trout fishers, Melon Farmers, Kwikfit Fitters, Baggage Handlers, Left Luggage?'

Forbes McAllister
Alan's last guest was restaurant critic Forbes McAllister. Forbes, originally from Scotland, was not impressed when Alan brought out some Highland Pipers. He wanted to talk about the £100,000 he'd paid for the personal effects of Lord Byron. Alan was most interested in a pair of duelling Pistols ...

The Police
The pistols were loaded and as Alan examined them, one went off, killing Forbes instantly. In the confusion Alan sacked his producer. Much like the elephant on Blue Peter, Alan had made a mess and had to clean it up. The show and the series ended on this fatal bombshell with Alan barely able to tell his fans he'd be in Manchester next month opening a Texas Homecare.